Glue.

Stick me back together with some elmo glue
I'm not falling apart, I'm over you
Don't hold me tight, just let go
I'm not grieving, I'm not lost
I don't care about you

I don't miss the good old days,
Or what once was and used to be
I am happy, happy as can be
What's the matter don't you believe me?

You love me, you love me so you say
What is it exactly that you love so dearly?
Is it my personality or my winning smile?
Is it my money, my treasured posessions
Sorry am I being a little unfair?
Argue back, confront, I dare

Don't get me started on being fair
You talk of compassion, of lighthearted humour
You know nothing, you gossip you rumour
Theres a blackness, that keeps following around
It won't let go, I can't seem to find, dont whisper
Don't speak, or say a sound

I can't shake this feeling,
I see no light, no halo, nothing surrounds
Will the darkness ever disappear
Will there be someone to hold your hand
To see you through to be there
Someone forever, someone to care
Time seems to stand on end
Through the hourglass like quicksand
I'm so tired, I'll be alright
Please just let me sleep
Everything will be alright
Please just believe in me.

Dreams to Dust.

You tell me I'm pretty, Im your everything
You tell me your secrets and then you break me
You let me believe your lies and declarations
You let me dream that I was your everything



You said that you would never let me go
Told me you loved me and I believed you so
Blinded by the aurora lights over the horizon
There you stood on my own pedastool
Now I feel like such a complete fool



The times we spent together every day
Thought you loved me come what may
One path, one straight road
Was all set to marry you
Yet it wasnt meant to be
For you ruined everything
For me



The tears that fell like the waterfall
The disappointment and grief all welled up
High hopes and dreams never came around
Just bitter twists and ends full of ups and downs
These memories reside inside of my head
Despite everything I just cannot forget



There are some things that money cannot buy
That go too deep, that stay deep inside
Thought you believed in me and in us
I have no faith anymore
In love at all because
You have shattered my hopes to dust
Whatever remains is no use to anyone now
Stronger than I was before,
Was yielding but now hard as a stone
Stronger now because I must.

Woffle woffle.

I do quite like waffles incidentally, have you ever seen those waffle machines you can get? All different types and sizes, then oozings of golden syrup. Mhmm, okay now I am hungry..

Do you ever think to yourself, oh I am sure I would be much happier if I was thinner, healthier, more sporty, had more money, was more brainy, was less myself then I would be happier?

Well of course you do we all have moments at times when we just feel like we can never feel happy with who we are. I came across this blog called Tiny Buddha and I bought it after reading a couple of articles it was so inspiring, so motivating, inspiring to change. Have left a link below if you wanted to have a look. Another link that I found quite useful where this inspirational person believes that we can all change in 30 days that is how long it takes for us to get rid of an old habit. Have also linked it below.


http://www.first30days.com/
http://tinybuddha.com/

Nothing like a bit of self improvement to help with mind body and spirit is there? Do you know for as long as I could remember I have never been happy with my weight. Its not even that I was big or anything, weird I know. It is quite depressing going into the shopping centre and finding yourself in the aisle of maternity clothes, or just feeling frumpy overall. Theres something about those mirrors you know, the ones where you change in that just seem to show you in the worst lights possible.

Its a constant battle, though being healthy, not thinking about food all the time and trying to make it less important. I do so love cooking and food and eating good things, rather a creature of comfort I am afraid. I am a Taurus after all.

I think now I weigh more than I have ever done before. It is quite difficult looking at pictures from when you were younger and comparing the difference with now. You start to wonder, how did I ever let myself go? Why did I let myself go?

Watching those Supersize vs Superskinny programmes with the two spectrums of the scales its such a shock because you realise that you don't want to have such health implications: you know the videos they show you from America? Where they struggle to cook and move around, and pictures of what your doing to your body which Dr Christian shows you?

Both are equally unhealthy, whether your on the thinner end of the spectrum or the rather plump large end of the spectrum. You keep making promises to yourself, new year resolutions that oh this time next year everything will be better, you'll be that size 10 you will be happy. The problem is that the next year comes around and your still exactly the same as the year before except slightly plumper and a size up..

So you just sortof accept it because well you don't really have a choice and eventually you get so sick of it you decide to do something about it but then you give up thinking you can't do it. Then consequently all that hard work goes out the window.

However I will never stop trying, I am determined to do it right this time. I think part of the problem is we try to change too much too quickly. Daily exercise, lower amount of fat etc.

I am currently doing Slimmers World, quite a good idea actually as theres no counting of calories or anything and you can eat as much potatoes and pasta as you want BONUS! Although you are only allowed 10 syns a day. I recently purchased a Shape Up Plan from Weight Concern, and its a file with different stages. Am only on stage 1 at the moment where you record everything you eat. Apparently it helps make you more aware of things. Step 2 will be eating more regularly I think and of course exercise!


On my other blog I have been putting up some recipes, none so healthy yet but there will be.

Thank you for reading my woffle.

Victoria

Race for Life- training day 3.

OK so I really didnt want to go to the gym, it was so cold wet and miserable I kept thinking to myself I really dont want to go. But I made myself go! As I need to train properly for this event, and once I was there it was fine, although quite hard work to begin with more so than last time for some reason? Then it got better, although I think the music helped again, it definitely depends on the song!

Another embarrassing thing happened today haha I put my jumper at the top end of the treadmill and somehow it draped onto the running machine and I nearly fell over it. I just managed to pause the machine and didnt fall which is always goood...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1165935/Could-going-gym-making-fatter.html<<<<< ooh err, thats me on the bike there haha, this article doesnt sound too good though... :(

Ah well never mind eh?

So until wednesday then people :)

The Bird, The Beauty and the Beast

Lets walk these long remembered memories

Down lanes which have no ends

Where everything is okay

Working so hard resisting against everything you are

Because the truth is your no beauty but a beast





Have you looked into the mirror

What do you see are you replulsed

Tear drops may fall but dont worry Ill be fine

Im falling falling who will be there to catch me

Perhaps this is all just a distant dream

Suddenly see true beauty as

I opened my arms and sprouted wings.



Free as a bird that may be with ruffled feathers

Rustling against my reality

Open your eyes can you see, feel that sweet smelling breeze

Like a spirit ghost whispering sweet melodies

Is there a lightness against the black

Will there be life amongst the dank dire, crime and petrified





Are you my angel so pure and white

You are my angel delight

If you knew then what you know now

Would you still be here would you still kiss me love me regardless



Is this a dream where happy endings are not few and far between

Where there is fairy dust and make believe

There lies gravity in reality but not in someone elses dream

So I jump and spread my wings

And in the distance I hear a bird sing.

Race for Life Training Day 2

So today was my second day of training at the gym, and although it was quite hard work I felt an adrenaline rush everytime some good music came on. A bit of Bon Jovi and Colours of the Wind if you can believe it. Didnt feel quite as wobbly today, although I lost my water bottle under the treadmill, and didnt want to look stupid so didnt attempt to try and retrieve it. What a plank I am.

I am so determined to do this, it helps having a set date, as it gaves me a date to accomplish it by. Helps get me fitter too which is always an added bonus. After my first training session I could definitely feel it in my belly and my legs, and I shall probably be feeling it tomorrow. Shows my muscles are working I guess (which have not been used for a while ><) Even hurts to laugh :D. Hey Ho. One step at a time.

I think I might treat myself after have done some work and snuggle down and watch To Kill A Mockingbird. Ahh Bliss ^_^

Thanks to whoever is reading.

Race for Life.

So I signed up for the race for life a couple of weeks ago, and today I officially started training for it. I went to the gym, and am taking it slow to begin with as have decided to run it. Bought this useful book a while ago called Running for Beginners, just as well, it is proving very useful.

Gives you good tips not to mention motivational quotes from Martin Luther King something along the lines of taking one step at a time before climbing the entire staircase rings bells.

The music definitely helped, listening to Lady GaGa makes a workout so much more fun :D. Will have a rest tomorrow and then start up again on Wednesday. I felt a bit like Bridget Jones you know where shes decided to get fit and healthy and quit smoking and theres a picture of her on the cycle and she cycles so hard that when she came off, she fell off. I felt a bit like that except I didnt fall off, just felt a bit dizzy haha.

There was a guy who was running next to me was slightly intimidating, as he was running so fast, and all I could think was I wish I could run as fast and as good as that. Nevermind maybe someday hey?

Anyway Day 1, the programme lasts ten weeks as am not starting the race till 12th June. Will keep you updated who ever reads or is interested.